We are nearing the end of October, and fall is definitely in full swing.  When you think of October, where does your mind immediately go? Fall? Pumpkin spice whatever? Leaves? Cooler temps?   The world turning pink? And unless you have been living under a rock somewhere, I imagine you are fully aware of what the pinkness of October is all about.  October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.  But I would venture to say most are very “aware” of breast cancer.  Many of you may have personal experiences with BC or have a loved one that has battled it. Maybe you have even “participated” in Breast Cancer Awareness activities.  You spend money to buy everything pink.  No judgment here.  About 10 years ago, I was all in favor of pink everything. I wanted to show solidarity for one of my best friends and her battle against Breast Cancer.  This is a great sentiment!  It is incredible to want to be there for those in the midst of a battle, or who have battled, breast cancer.  However, I would argue that to really make an impact in the world’s fight against breast cancer, we must understand the stages of cancer, what stage IV cancer means, and try to support organizations that are researching Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) – the type of breast cancer that leads to loss of life.  I found this definition and found it was thorough and a great way of explaining MBC (courtesy of cancer.net):

“When breast cancer spreads to an area farther from where it started to another part of the body, doctors say that the cancer has “metastasized.” They call the area of spread a “metastasis,” or use the plural of “metastases” if the cancer has spread to more than 1 area. The disease is called metastatic breast cancer.”

MBC is stage 4 breast cancer.  I could give you the life expectancy of such, or other disheartening information here.  But that is not the point of this post.  This post is dedicated to the fight against MBC and in particular, one person’s fight against this beast.  This person goes by many names, as she wears many hats.  She is a daughter, a wife, a mom, a sister, a friend, a former counselor, an avid horse enthusiast, a farm sitter, a horse transporter, a former volleyball standout, and a coach.  She has also become one of my personal heroes.  You may know her as Kristin, or Coach Jones, her former teammates from North Henderson High School know her as “LB” (short for Little Bit).  And if you happen to be in an alumni scrimmage with her and another teammate, you will still hear this nickname used.  While this nickname stemmed from her physical stature, I can assure you this in no way reflects her level of play, determination, work ethic, leadership on the court, etc.  In those facets, she is a giant.  

I met Kristin my sophomore year of high school, or I guess the summer before my sophomore year.  The year was 1993 and it was the beginning of North Henderson High School.  This school took all the students from the former Edneyville High School and combined them with sections of students from the other area high schools – West, East, and Hendersonville.  I was from Edneyville, and the majority of us were not happy with the merger.  We loved our little community, our traditions, our teachers, and our coaches.  We loved knowing everyone and feeling a sense of belonging.  But alas, this decision was out of our hands.  

I didn’t play volleyball with Kristin my sophomore year, as I was on the JV team and she played varsity. She belonged there, and that team did amazing things that season on the volleyball court.  I didn’t care too much for volleyball back then.  To me, it was just a filler until basketball season began.   I did play basketball with her or started playing basketball with her, during our sophomore year until a torn ACL set her out for the rest of the season.

In our Junior and Senior seasons, we played both sports on the same team.  I did not play much during junior season volleyball, still biding my time waiting for basketball to roll around (let’s face it, I was not very good).  She played and she shined.  She was also the starting point guard for our basketball team.  She was an amazing teammate who pushed herself and others. She had such drive and determination, and she loved playing ball. She loved her teammates and her coach.  

We grew closer over the years, especially in our senior year.  We even convinced our favorite math teacher to create an Advanced Math II class so we didn’t have to take Calculus.  This class even took a field trip to Six Flags Spring Semester and I look back on those times with such a happy heart.  We went to prom together with our dates, after I so tactlessly brought up the point that she and my date’s friend, neither one had dates, at the lunch table, in front of everyone. 

Once when I was over at her house, she introduced me to her best friend since childhood, who was also her neighbor, and I knew of her since I had been playing ball against her for many years.  The friend, Amy, was going to the same college I would be attending.  Kristin thought we had so much in common that we should be roomies.  Amy and I were both a bit skeptical of that idea, so we respectfully declined this notion, when we were out of each other’s company.  However, Amy and I became great friends at Mars Hill and yes, we became roomies our Junior and Senior years.  I guess Kristin did know best.

Kristin went on to play volleyball at Catawba College.  And we didn’t see a lot of each other for many years after college.  I moved from state to state.  She received her Master’s in counseling and became a counselor in Buncombe County.  When I moved back to WNC she was working at a local high school.  The next time we ran into each other was at Amy’s wedding.  We picked up right where we left off.  Then we both were pregnant at the same time, both our second kiddos.  She gave birth in the spring and I gave birth in the summer.  

The next year is when her world basically imploded.  She had a lump and at first, she thought it was a clogged milk duct because she had been breastfeeding her daughter.  However, upon exams, further tests, scans, etc., she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Not just breast cancer, but stage 4, Metastatic Breast Cancer. Her official diagnosis was Stage 4 IDC with Mets to the liver and spine.  This was in September 2012. I have also come to realize there are different types of BC. For instance, the cancer in Kristin’s breast was 80% Her2+ and 20% ER+ (estrogen) driven. In her liver and spine, it changes to 50/50. 

As former teammates, we all wanted to be there for her, to help her in whatever way we could.  That is one thing about our high school volleyball and basketball teams (mostly the same people were involved in both), we continue to love and support each other even after all these years.  I think it was the atmosphere we played in, the Coach that we had, the hardships we encountered as teams, and the personal struggles we faced, coupled with the success we shared.  I know all teams at North were not as close as we remain, and I know that not every athlete looks back with such fondness as we do.  Our camaraderie and friendships are a huge blessing to us all.

We visited with her, sent or took food, prayed, messaged, etc.  We all became huge advocates in the fight against breast cancer.  It had become very personal for us all!  

The years that followed brought a battle to Kristin that she had not wanted, but that she was ready to face.  She fought with the same strength and determination she showed on the court, those many years ago.  Her battle has been unique and she has been through years of treatment.  The following is some info she shared with me regarding her personal fight:

“Usually, stage four never has a lumpectomy or mastectomy because if it has traveled outside of the breast then the breast really doesn’t matter.  But I had a complete response to treatment in all areas but did have a recurrence to my breast in 2013, so that is why we opted for the mastectomy.  [The doctor] was kind enough and optimistic enough to let me do that.”

I am thankful for her doctor and her body’s response to the treatment!  Praise the Lord for the great news!  

During her battle, she did 18 weeks of chemo.  She also had IV targeted therapy every three weeks.  The targeted therapy she completed every 3 weeks for 10 years!  Yes, you read that right!  One might look at this a couple of ways.  That is a lot of treatment, and that is very true.  However, that is also lots of years!!  And we are all so grateful for that! 

She has a very good drug combo that has worked exceedingly well for her. Herceptin and Perjeta have been her miracle drugs!  There are side effects of course.  She has experienced a great amount of fatigue, and because of the Mets in her spine, she has back pain often.  Sometimes there can also be emotional pain one encounters.  

Kristin is a highly compassionate person.  She loves her people and she loves those she has encountered that have been fighting the same fight.  Over the course of these many years, she has lost so many “comrades in arms” due to MBC.  She has dealt with survivor’s guilt.  She is extremely grateful for her body’s response to treatment.  It is just hard witnessing others be not as fortunate.  

She has become a strong advocate for more research and funding for MBC.  She educates anyone and everyone who will listen.  This is how I learned most of my knowledge of MBC and that spending money on pink doesn’t help the masses.  She gave a speech at our high school’s Relay for Life rally a few years ago. She was also fortunate to be able to take a few trips with some incredible organizations – Inheritance of Hope and Little Pink Houses of Hope.  The first trip was with her family and the second was just her and her husband, Forrest.  

Now ten years following her diagnosis, she desires to go on one of these retreats again, but this time as a volunteer. She has a servant’s heart.  She wants to give back, and she wants to be there for others who are going through similar battles.

Kristin had to stop working her full-time job many years ago due to treatment, and the many side effects she encountered.  However, that hasn’t stopped her from helping her family financially by doing other things.  She farm sits for people when they are out of town, and she rocks at this job!  She loves animals and people love her work.  She is meticulous.  If you know anything about farm work, you know this is not easy work.  I have worried about her overdoing it many times, but she keeps pushing forward.  She has hauled horses as well, which is a huge undertaking in my opinion, especially when you are traveling across many states.  

Being an avid Facebook peruser, I encouraged her to join Facebook as I knew that would be a good way for her to keep up with people, to have others encourage her, and sometimes to give her mind somewhere else to go.  People have been able to follow her journey, and keep updated as she has tests, scans, appointments, etc.  This is one way she connected with other people fighting MBC.  Of course, this is also where she endured the month of pink, knowing that people’s pinkwashing did nothing for MBC.  

While fighting her own battle, she also witnessed her mom’s diagnosis of Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer.  She was with her, supported her, and had treatments with her. Unfortunately, she lost her mom due to cancer in December of 2020.  This was incredibly difficult and emotionally taxing, as one could only imagine.  Yet she continued her battle, and she looked in on her Dad.  She leaned on others, as much as others offered to help.  There is something about an independent type of woman, or maybe it happens in most types of women, but we don’t ask for help.  We like to give help, and sometimes we reluctantly receive some assistance, but we definitely don’t ask for it.  

A few months ago, Kristin celebrated her ten-year cancerversary.  This is a huge milestone for her!  Her doctor told her that they were now in uncharted waters and asked if she wanted to take a break from treatment.  So now for the first time in 10 years, she is on a treatment hiatus.  She is coaching volleyball again and she is loving it! She is hopeful that the negative effects of treatment will continue to subside.  Of course, she is also hopeful that she continues to remain stable.  We all pray for this.  Some of her family members were reluctant for her to stop treatment, as I can only imagine.  I was a bit concerned too, but I know she deserves some time to breathe!  

Fighting, the very nature of it, is exhausting.  Fighting MBC is a whole other beast!  Going through treatment for 10 years, every three weeks, regular scans and the accompanying anxiety of those scans, pain, medication, surgery, a port that remains in your body during all those years of treatment, extreme fatigue, depression, other sickness brought on as a complication of cancer, having to stay away from others because of a weakened immune system, watching those you have come to love pass away, and so many more things I do not even know about.  This is the life of one of my best friends.  This is the life of others who battle MBC.  

How can we support Kristin and others in her battle?  Of course, we can pray.  We can offer support, assist them with housework, volunteer to watch children, cook them supper, etc.  We can also educate others about MBC, donate or encourage donations to Metavivor, or other organizations that strive to spend equitable funds on MBC research.  This October is almost over, but let us not forget those who fight breast cancer the rest of the year.  And let us not forget those who fight MBC for the rest of their lives.